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Happy Father’s Day, Ma

June 20, 2010

It’s Father’s Day (Happy Father’s Day to all you Dads out there!!), so I decided to bake a pie for Joel.  I love to bake pies (but not so much eat them) – for me it’s relaxing and a quiet time for me to think.  Being that it’s Father’s Day, I started to think back on Father’s Days of the past.

My Dad died when I was fourteen after he fought and lost  a swift and ugly battle with cancer.  To say I was devastated doesn’t really do my emotions justice.  I love my Dad.  Perfect he was not but he was my Dad and we had some really good times together.  He was a seriously smart and fun dude and I found such joy in hanging out with him and learning from him.  His death so early in my life broke my heart and left me with a long list of all the things he’d miss out on in my life – learning to drive, graduating high school & college, getting married, having kids and oh the list goes on.

My Ma remarried a few years later and I had a step father that came into a difficult situation and did the best he could at being a support to us all. I’m very thankful for my years with him – I actually knew him longer than my own Dad.  When he passed away a couple of years ago, it opened up that wound of my early teen years (on top of losing him)  and for that I’m now thankful.  I found a new healing in my heavenly Father that had been there in the past, but it’s just been a new and greater grace lately… so good! Anyway…

As a result of all this, Father’s Day is alway kind of a crap shoot for me.  Some years it makes me pine for my Dad some years I’m content with just swimming in his memories.  This year, as I stood there making my pie, my mind went to my Ma.  You see, although my Dad headed to heaven a little (okay, a lot!) earlier that I would have liked, my Ma has always been there for me.  She was there to help facilitate me learning how to drive (her teaching me would have been a bit much), she was there for me as teenage boyfriends came and went, she was there as I was a hormonal and hateful teenage girl to her, she was there when I graduated high school, she was there as I moved all over the country, she was there when I graduated college, she was there to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day, she was there for me when my husband deployed, she was there for me when I had my babies and was trying to figure out nursing and the list goes on and on and on.  What I’m trying to say is that all those days that I longed for my Dad to be there, she was more than present with me.  She has supported me, listened, loved, fought with and encouraged me all these years. So this year, Father’s Day for me is about her.

Thanks Ma for not just being the Mom that I so badly need but for also pinch-hitting for Dad. I absolutely adore you and I’m thankful that you were there with me for all the big and little things.  Happy Father’s Day, Ma.  I love you!




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