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Lead Me

June 22, 2010

Every couple of weeks I get to meet up with some good buddies of mine for our men’s small group meeting. Sometimes we are working through a book or a study and other times we just talk through what’s going on in our lives. In most every case it leads to our lifting each other up in prayer and strengthens our resolve to live as men who have inherited a “spirit of sonship” through Jesus Christ.

We talked last night about the “godly sorrow” that Paul talks about in 2 Corinthians 7:10-11. Not some warped feeling polluted by the devil’s addition of a perverted shame or a drowning guilt, but a sorrow that comes out of our hearts’ desire to serve and live for Christ despite the all too common theme of failing Him miserably. Real, true, love of God produces in us a weighty, sobering and heartfelt sorrow when we choose to compromise our relationship with Him through any number of sinful choices. We’ve let Him down. We get that sinking feeling of a drowning heart; our soul’s gulping and gasping for the Breath of Life.

Our discussion really seemed to hone in on how a man’s drowning heart can affect both his wife and kids. As we chatted and sort of pulled on threads of stuff we’d said or done to hurt our wives and kids, whether knowingly or unknowingly, I really started to feel the weight and compounded effects of my sin. It literally made me want to get up and leave the room and get away by myself. I think I felt that godly sorrow because as heavy as it felt, I didn’t feel polluted with the lies and accusations and I was certain of God’s love for me. I felt like I’d let him down. Like I’d chosen not to follow His lead.

God has charged all men with being the spiritual leaders of their family, with being a well of strength for his wife and with raising up obedient children who follow after God’s own heart. What made me really sad were the opposites of those statements —

…Not the spiritual leader of my family…Not even acting like the leader of my family…Offering weakness to my wife instead of strength; more accurately sapping the strength of my wife by looking to her instead of God to validate me as a man…Not taking the time to love on my kids; being short with them or shunning them when all they want to do is be with me…

Even just writing those statements surfaces what I’ve learned is such a desperate need for to let Him lead me. So that I can learn how to lead, guide and support my beautiful family.

This morning during my drive to work, I heard Christian music group Sanctus Real’s song, Lead Me, off of their album, Pieces of A Real Heart. The band’s vocalist, Matt Hammitt gives a great account of why he wrote this song for his wife, Sarah and their children. If you haven’t yet listened to that song story, click here cause you need to hear it! The lyrics speak to everything my friends and I talked about and everything I’d prayed about before I fell asleep last night. Also be sure to check out the Lead Me Prayers . Great prayers that ask God to come for us in our dark places so that by His guiding, we can be strong leaders of our families .

I’ve asked God to come and get me so many times from the places I mentioned and many more that I’ve not written here. And every day I become more certain that I can only spiritually lead my family, offer my love and strength as husband to Ingrid and be the engaged daddy that my kiddos deserve through no other means but by the love, leading and forgiveness shown to me by Jesus who has promised to be for me “both Lord and Christ”; my Leader and my Savior.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Vance permalink
    June 23, 2010 9:58 am

    Joel, Thanks for the lunch time fellowship yesterday. We become so used to sin in our lives that we choose not to feel regret, because it is uncomfortable. I like the prayer, help me to feel the Godly sorrow for my actions so that I mat turn away from the path I’m on. Thanks for sharing Joel.

    • June 23, 2010 10:18 am

      Thanks Vance and welcome to the blog! Hope to see you ’round here again soon.
      I agree — I want to feel the weight of my sins so that I can feel the incredible lifting of that yoke offered to me through the Work of Christ. Have a great day!

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