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Pummeled & Content

July 8, 2010

Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel wiped-out. I feel like I have been and pummeled too. In the midst of being tired though today, I’m content. Yesterday I wasn’t. Despite what was actually a really great day, I let myself get all worked up about stuff that either I simply wasn’t able to control or about uncertainties and questions that I should have brought before God. Instead I brought them home and sort of dumped them on Ingrid and I was apparently pretty obvious about it because she saw right through to the core of what was going on. She came back at me with questions like —

Are you pursuing that? Are you being honest with yourself? Are you praying about that?

I’m thankful that Ingrid knows me oh so well… as a side note, it used to annoy me, (usually because I was being deceptive or trying to ignore things in my life that were in my self-titled category of “too hard”) but now I love that it’s tough to hide my true feelings from Ingrid. Other people beside me have found that out as well. Some people are thankful that she chooses to voice what she sees through her God-given gifts of perception and discernment (sometimes it has to be presented to a person — like me — very directly but almost always with Christian love as the common theme). Others get defensive and that makes telling the truth difficult and very often, downright scary. Either way, I’m so grateful to have beeen blessed with a wife that speaks into my life with confidence that comes from knowing God’s heart towards her; towards me; towards our marriage.

So today, after staying up too late, being awakened by the kids a couple of times last night, tossing and turning, praying — I’m exhausted.

But I am content…

…Because I know that God loves me; that if I bring my desires, my fears and uncertainties to Jesus first and foremost I’ll be alright. When I try to do life any differently than that, I will assuredly louse it up.

“Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”      Psalm 91:14-16

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