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Keep it Real or Keep it Not So Real?

January 27, 2011

So I have to ask — If you’re really being honest with yourself…Are you the type of person that really wants people to actually speak the truth in love to you? To care about you so much that they are bold enough to call you out or offer a warning when they see you’re headed into danger?

Or would you just rather that your family and friends that you call “close” just sort of appease you, throwing in a sprinkle of truth every once in a while, but nothing too direct? Would you just sort of rather have your friends and family make coffee talk? You know the kind I’m talking about; the chit-chat that won’t really penetrate any of your defenses; the kind that’s just safe and certainly not messy.

How would you answer…I mean, if we’re being honest with each other.

Feel free to keep your reply comments anonymous if you’d rather.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. January 27, 2011 5:05 pm

    Well, if we’re being honest, from my own personal experience and experience with friends or family, when someone is doing something wrong or is in sin, they know it. To “call them out on it” really only causes resentment or a feeling of isolation. Like, “Yes, I know I’m wrong…I need to climb out of this, and while you’re telling me how wrong I am, I really need you to love me and pray for me, not condemn me.”

    You now…if we’re being honest. 🙂

    • January 27, 2011 10:26 pm

      Great comment and I think I hear what you’re sayin Chrissy.

      Bottom line, I think we’ve got to rely on scripture. There’s nothing wrong with rebuke or “calling someone out”. We see examples of it all the time in the Bible. But what I think is most important is “how” we do it; namely “in love”. Because that’s how I see Jesus doing it. And if we want to follow after Him we can’t be afraid to speak into one another’s lives while at the same time always speaking and acting from the stance of showing His love & checking our motives; our heart behind our speaking.

      Have a great evening and thanks again for the comment!

  2. Stacey permalink
    January 28, 2011 11:59 pm

    I love this! Having friends that are willing to ask hard questions or challenge me along with encourage and love me are the kind of friends I crave. As someone who is not very vulnerable, I only have a handful of close friends…part of the reason I’m friends with those people is because I can trust my heart with them. They are interested in me and are willing to help me overcome weaknesses and challenge me to be more than I think I can, without judgement…loving me dispite of me. Of course they are great fun too! These kind of relationships help me grow and learn best. I am a better lover of Jesus and people because of the ‘real’ people in my life! Love you guys!!

    • January 29, 2011 10:12 pm

      Oh Minorhead I adore you! I think it was my friendship with you (and Cros) starting back in the day that really opened my eyes to a new sort of friendship. It was a complete about face to the more superficial and convenient friendships I’d known thus far and although it could be jarring at times (I still remember sweet Cros confronting me about something, who knows what, in the laundry room once and was wondering what in the world was going on) it is the truest form of friendship I know. There is a definite difference between watching me crawl through the muck of my life and reaching in and helping me see the way out. And the peace that comes from friends you can be truly transparent with – even if it means broadcasting that I’m a hot mess – is honey for my soul. I pick truth in love – even if it feels like betrayal or salt in the wound as my knee jerk reaction – because when I stand back and look at the times people have done that in my life and it’s really mattered/been needed, it’s the times that I see most clearly people operating in God’s love. And oh my goodness do we have fun in the times between the storms of our lives!! Is it time for our cruise yet? I love you and I love learning more about myself from your friendship – can you imagine?!? 😉 -Ingrid

  3. February 4, 2011 5:57 pm

    I want to know the truth, but I want to know it before it hurts, you know? Last year, several people revealed to me things about my personality that I didn’t like, but they did it after, like, a year of offenses. Jeepers! Tell me so I can fix it, don’t let me keep going!

    • February 5, 2011 10:28 am

      Rachel, that’s so very true! I would rather have someone be unafraid to come to me earlier rarer than sock me with something a year or two after it’s initially been on their brain! In that same respect though, confrontation cam be tough so I suppose I should be grateful (though sometimes it’s a bit more painful) for what they have on their heart to tell me!

      Welcome to the blog and thanks for the follow on twitter!!

      Joel

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